2023 Reflections or is it 2024 projections... hmmmm

The break over the festive period was both relaxing, perplexing, and fulfilling. I had a few lay-ins, long walks, and family time, but also a weird 24-hour mystery bug and a feeling of restlessness that was almost impossible to release. This feeling isn’t unusual for me; i’m always on the edge of my seat waiting for the next thing or completely immersed in a task or two.

At the end of 2023, I was referred by the GP for ADHD testing, and it has completely and utterly blown my mind. Reading about the various symptoms and identifying with sooooo many has given me a huge amount to process. I have found that, almost immediately, I am able to relate so much better to how my brain works, and I’m finding I am able to bring a greater kindness towards myself and the deluge of intense thinking my brain continuously engages in. I have always had this feeling of difference from those around me that I’ve never been able to place. I cannot sit still, so I immerse myself in what I’m doing to my utter detriment. I move in cycles of burnout that, as I’ve hit peri-menopause, have been more and more frequent.

Although I am still at the beginning of this self-discovery journey, I thought it could be interesting to attempt and record the techniques, ideas, etc. that I employ over the course of the upcoming year. I won't receive an appointment with the NHS for at least 18 months, but even if I don't get a diagnosis, I'm sure I can learn to take better care of myself in the meantime.

So I’m going to take it slowly and try not to put in too many changes too quickly, as this is a past tendency that has added to my cycle of burnout. It has, however, made me realise that I do need a solid routine to follow, even when I'm on leave. I can be very impulsive. I am thoughtful but impulsive, and again, this sometimes leads to burnout, so I had the idea to try and be more intentional about what I want to achieve this year with a heavy focus on rest and on activities that help me feel energised or restored.

I’m starting with a daily routine, short yoga sessions, meditation, journaling, and increasing social contact. I am taking the month to gather my plan and begin to practice, so hopefully next month I’ll be able to share this with you and document any progress I have made.

So I guess the above isn’t really a reflection but more of a projection… hmmmm….