Meditation and what it means for me!
Why do I meditate everyday?
It’s simple really, to be in control of my thoughts and emotions and to allow myself to be the me I’m supposed to be, not the me that is being imposed by the hypnotic society we live in. Don’t get me wrong I love my life, I love my society but just sometimes there are messages that seep through that make me feel like an inferior human being and I refuse to let that continue.
Throughout my life I have dealt with stress, grief and other emotional life exchanges by pushing them down deep, the only way I knew to cope… don’t cry, don’t open up, be strong was the message I heard all around me as a result I lost touch with my inner being and I have suffered deeply with sadness, depression, feelings of low self esteem, I am not good enough, I can’t do it, I’m scared.
Since training as a massage therapist 6 years ago, reconnecting with a more generous and giving life style and investing in myself on a spiritual level something deep down has started to shift, that repressed and hidden part of me has opened up and I have become much more aware of my inner self, the true me if you like.
So how did I get there?
Training as a therapist requires you to look deep within yourself to be able to heal others, this means opening yourself up and learning new methods of coping with daily life. About 3 years ago this led me to start working with a mindfulness coach, I have tried CBT, Tapping (which was helpful) running, yoga etc etc but nothing has quite sparked my inner joy then mindfulness, kindness to myself, I am enough. By talking through my issues and pain patterns with Karen of Green Space Coaching we have managed slowly peel back the layers of my life onion and I have really begun to find some peace. However, all of this work is a practice, it gets easier but I did find it hard to implement some of the advice, until that is she suggested taking a few small deeps breaths every time a tricky or painful situation arose.
What resources do I use?
My cousin suggested I started using the Headspace* app which I dutifully downloaded onto my phone and forgot about almost instantly. When Karen reminded me about the breathing I thought it might be helpful if I opened the app and gave it a try, what could I lose, I was already feeling a hundred times better then I had at the beginning of my journey so I logged in and started with the basics, a 30day programme where you can choose to do 3, 5 or 10mins mediation per day, the first 10days are free and having money blocks at the time this really appealed to me.
Nothing could have really prepared me for how I felt after my first 10days, I honestly felt such a monumental shift that I jumped straight in a brought a years subscription and have been using it ever since. Headspace is an absolutely fantastic place to start, the animations explaining ‘how to’ are brilliant and simple and it’s completely accessible to all, with every type of situation covered, there are 30 day programmes for literally every life event or emotion you may be feeling, as well as mediations to suit you wherever you are at anytime, sit down, walking, running, even my kids use it, especially the sleep programmes, you cant knock a programme that helps a dyslexic kid with an amazing imagination and a teen who share the same room to nod off, an absolute must.
What happens when I don’t meditate?
Well, somedays, when I haven’t spent time with my daily planner (a blog post for the future) it doesn’t happen, these days sometimes turn into several and my monkey mind starts to get louder, I start to believe the negative stories that circulate within my own mind, long held beliefs about myself that no longer serve to help me and start to hinder my day, week, month and I begin to slip back into sadness and despair. Not a place I ever want to sit again for too long.
Meditation is a practice and unless you are the Daili Lama lets face it sometimes life gets in the way but the more you practice the easier it is to see when you’re slipping. I restart my meditation practice and immediately begin to recognise the benefits again and am always blown away by how quickly I can turn those feelings around.
5 minutes every day, seriously 5MINS will make an enormous difference to your life and yes of course if you can invest more time in yourself you will gain more benefits but 5 mins is a good place to start, the rest will come naturally.
I’d like to stress that it is very important to understand that meditation is not only about sitting in the lotus position with a totally silent mind and slowly becoming a buddha, it is about empowering yourself to see beyond the hypnosis of the world we live in, to see the blue sky that is behind the clouds even when the sky is at its grayest, the wind is whipping past your ears when you’re walking directly into the head wind, this too shall pass as all things do and with a little practice that is definitely a promise I can make to you.
Since beginning this journey I am reconnecting with my amazing inner goddess. It is taking some serious soul searching and rewiring of my mind set but I finally feel like I have a new foundation upon which to rebuild. You will now find me dancing, singing, and finding joy in everything, spreading kindness and smiling at everyone, just like my younger self used to do, the one that was truly connected, who knew that she was still there and just waiting to be released, watch out world Casey is back, come join me practice xxx
*if Headspace doesn’t work for you then try youtube meditations with Brett Moran and Alice Bowmaker. Pop to your local Buddhist centre and sign up for a mediation course or if you want to be connected with people directly who will be able to help you then please send me a private message and I will strive to help in the best way I can xxx