When the pain comes...

I feel like I’m doing something wrong, all the time. My decisions my movements, cant do right for doing wrong, as the saying goes. I cant blink in case it all falls apart.

My dreams are coming true in more ways than one, yet times have halted and we have been drawn back down to ground so incredibly sharply and the knifes blade bites us so finely that our conscious mind is not yet aware of the gaping wound.

And then when the pain comes, it breaks over me in waves and the water washes away layers of dirt from the surface exposing my deeper hidden crevices, emotions and fears, and it cleanses them and a blinding light shatters every illusion and reveals my truth.

Does it takes so little for my world to fall apart or is this the illusion? is this just the spring time, the ploughing of my own personal ‘mind’ field, uprooting of the old stagnant thought patterns , discarding of the wasteful.

Am I now digging deeper into the foundation and planting seeds that will sprout the strongest roots of the new freer more intensely awake mind? Only time will tell.

Photo by Inara Stewart-Smith 2020 Tower Hamlets Cemetery Park